In good health...

This past week has been a roller coaster. After my post last week I was emotionally tired. I began to pray that God would restore my soul and that I would seek His answer. After a lot of prayer I have decided not to complete my application to work full time outside the home. I KNOW God wants me with my children.

As you know i am working through a bible study on the Proverbs 31 Woman. This week's lessons were on "Her Loyalty" and "Her Contribution". God is so good! After reading about Her Contribution I began to pray for an answer to our financial struggle. God opened my eyes to a job that would allow be to have my children with me and make some extra money. Housecleaning. I am finishing all of my readiness and plan on putting my name out next week. Please join me in praying that I would be busy!!

Also we got some very exciting news this morning...we are ALL medically cleared for missions. As many of you know I have severe Rheumatoid Arthritis that is controlled with 2 weekly injections and Lauren has recently had surgery. I thought that we might not even receive clearance for at least another month. I am so thankful we have gotten our clearance. We are 1 step closer...

I'm giving up...

I've had it!! I am tired of giving it to God... and then taking it back when I think no one will notice. I know better!! God has shown Himself to be faithful and ever present in my life. As we continue the process of applying with the IMB I find myself thinking, "when is the other shoe going to drop?" I feel so unworthy of this high calling and it seems sometimes I spend a whole lot of time worrying and little time trusting. God has continued to confirm this calling on our lives. Last week I began a new bible study. I'm sure many of you are familiar with it. Beautiful in God's Eyes, by Elizabeth George. I am realized that my definitions are far different from the Lords (and I am so thankful for that!!) I desire to be a woman of character and a jewel to my husbands crown. Among many other things I desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman. At this point I have nothing to lose!! If the world judges me and calls me a Jesus FREAK, I will praise Him because He has called me to be set apart. I will seek Him in everything and trust that His ways are higher than my ways. I will also add that I am currently struggling about what to do with our debt. I know that God called me to stay at home with my children. However when our small business flooded last August we were left with about $23,000 of debt. We have paid off about half, however I know this needs to be taken care of. I am so thankful for a husband who provides for our family. However at this point we are unable to pay off any more debt. There is just nothing left at the end of the month. So here is what I am faced with: Do I take a step of faith and apply for a full time job at the Dyess AFB CDC knowing that God will open or SHUT the doors?? or Do I continue to stay at home with my children and trust that God will provide a way to pay off this debt?? I feel like staying at home and not doing anything would be foolish. But, am I not trusting God to provide if I apply for this job?? At this point I am trusting God as I apply for this position. Please join me in praying that God, in His perfect timing, will open or shut doors according to His purpose. So, here I am swallowing my pride, allowing you to see who I really am. A person covered by His grace and standing in faith, trusting His ways are better than mine. I am giving up and giving it ALL to Him.